In our new yard there is a frame from an old wooden swing set, that the owner’s adult sons converted into a tall pull up bar. I’ve been eyeing it since we moved in, and was a bit hesitant to use it in public. But for the last 2+ months I’ve integrated it into my morning jogging routine – I do one set before I head out, and another set right after I come back and go back into the house.
When I first started I could do one pull up. In a week of doing them it went up to two. Then two and a half… and then nothing. For the last two months I’ve been stuck at two and a half pull ups. I start doing the third one, lift up a bit, hang there straining in midway mark, and I just cant clear the bar with my chin.
Its so consistent, it feels like some weird habit. Leave the house, clear 2 pull ups, strain on the third, jog in the forest, come back, do 2 pullups, strain on the third, go inside to get breakfast.
What’s interesting to me about this, is my lack of frustration with this reality. I am stuck at 2.5, and I am ok with it. It is what it is. I’m a 2.5 pull ups kind of man, that’s where I am.
This isn’t my first time using a pull up bar. 15 years ago, I was 24 years old in Yeshiva in Israel. There was a pull up bar in our dorm room, I used it every morning, and I distinctly remember doing 5, then 10, then 15 and finally 20+ pull ups. All I had to do was keep doing them, and my muscles grew, and I kept steadily improving my count. All I had to do was put in a basic effort and I would get better.
And now I’m 39, doing something for months, and I’m sticking to a consistent 2.5. Not improving. And… ok with it.
I think a part of it is my peace with getting older and my body getting weaker. This is the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, I try to jog daily and eat healthy. But my body is not the same. It just wont gain muscles in the same way. This is what it means to get older.
But there is something deeper about this for me. I am also ok with not improving and doing the same thing without a clear reward. I could not do that at 25. I would have given up in frustration after two weeks on non improvement. That how I was when I was younger. Show me the money, or I’m out. Exercise, work, study. I had no patience for failure and non-immediate progress.
But I’ve changed. Grew up a bit. I feel better with action for its own sakes – and those 2.5 pulls ups are an internal symbol of that.
I’ll get better eventually. I can be patient enough for my old man muscles to catch up. And maybe they wont. Maybe 2.5 pull ups is where I am going to stay at indefinitely unless I take some supplements, truly dedicate more time to building up more back muscles, do it through the day. Which I don’t have the time for. So 2.5 is where I am at. And I’m ok with it.
